When I was younger, my sisters and I would do “gender specifics” with days and numbers. For instance, we would say number one was a man, two was a woman, even more specifically, three was a fat female, four was a little boy, five a mean woman and so on. Monday was definitely a man, Tuesday a woman, Wednesday a quiet woman etc. I don’t know if anyone else played this game, but it was so much fun for us back then.

Today, I count two years being married, and I will tell you what I have learnt.

Without knowing it, I had come into marriage for myself. I didn’t realize how badly driven I was at getting my own stuff, until I wasn’t getting it. I knew I’d have a happy marriage, I knew I was gonna have fun and yes so much fun while having fun. However, I was expecting someone to hand these things to me. I wasn’t gonna create that world for myself. This was my first selfie taken
Again, I used to think I was so lovely and tender and gentle and patient, and the list of worthiness goes on. Sadly, I have found myself throw tantrums when I didn’t have my way, yell so hard I let my crown fall off my head, cry like a baby when my needs weren’t met, punish the wrong doer for his grave offense. Hmmm, my second selfie- not so pretty is she?


God saw Adam’s loneliness and went creating. Creating His masterpiece, His solution to man’s pathetic condition. God made woman- man’s way out of loneliness, man’s help meet for destiny, man’s world of adventure and multiplication. He made woman for man and not woman for herself. However, only in the great institution of marriage can this reality be fulfilled.


Adam saw Eve and spoke by revelation, “you are to me, what I’d never be to myself.”
God could have been that help-meet to Adam, after all He made man for Himself. But God knew woman would do a better job at it. God has put something in the woman useful for her assignment, something so great that only He knows. He put Himself in woman. He has given her His kind of strength.

She was taken from man’s side
To be his help and not to chide
A gentle voice through the tide
A hand to hold and to guide

A woman must realize her place and assignment in marriage. She fails when she doesn’t understand how to use her power.

So here’s what I did; I posed with my best side, and took me another selfie. I used my gifts to serve better. I became easy to talk to, and endured hardness like a good soldier. I became patient in waiting, and joyful in little. I gave love rather than wait to receive, I planted in famine and reaped daily a bounty. I cared and didn’t complain, I gave without holding back, and received my reward from the Lord.

I was excited that my better side was making waves. I was happy because I was making another happy.


I am that wife whose husband’s heart safely trusts in her. That wife who gives him peace and does him no harm.
I’m a wife who is committed to her assignment to her husband, helping him fulfill God’s purpose.
He loving me, I honoring him, this is God in charge.


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